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Delirium (di lir` iem) n. a condition of the mind, as during insanity, in which one is restless and keeps thinking and talking wildly.
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January 29, 2003

Top 10 Things You SHOULDN'T Ask Your Pharmacist

I really do like lists like Top 10 Things To Ask Your Pharmacist. I think those help patients to be more informed about their medications. However, I think we also need a different type of top 10.

  1. How fast will it be ready? A derivative is "Can I have that in 5 minutes? I have an appointment to get to." Regardless of what you think, your pharmacist isn't sitting back there devising ways to make you wait. Pharmacy is more than just counting pills
  2. Can you give me a discount? I'd love to give away all medications for free but no matter how much you protest or how many medications you buy from a pharmacy, they really don't set the prices your insurance charges you or the prices the manufacturers charges. There is no "bulk discount" for multiple purchases or just because we like you.
  3. Can I speak to [other pharmacist]? That's normally said when someone is denied something. Like when one pharmacist says "We won't fill your Vicodin 20 days early." Seriously, the other guy is going to say same the same thing.
  4. Will you look at this? While we are trained a bit on diagnosis, I really don't want you to expose your abbessed groin to the entire pharmacy. Please go see a doctor. If it's bleeding, oozing, red, black or smells funny, you probably shouldn't go to your local pharmacy.
  5. Can you tell me what this tablet is? Generally, we just assume that you raided your grammy's cabinet and found something you think is a pain medication. That may not be fair or true but it's technically illegal for us to tell you anyway unless you can supply us a bottle with your name on it (and then, what do you need us for). It's probably best not to take medication if you don't know what it is.
  6. Can I take my husband's [medication]? Again, it may be perfectly alright for you to take it. I wouldn't know. I haven't see your physical exam, medical history, etc. Even if it's the exact same as the medication prescribed to you, it's illegal for us to tell you to take it.
  7. Will you check out my 20 items? If I would, should I? Shouldn't I be checking for medication errors or waiting on the other 10 people in line instead of running a price check on your watermelon? Have some courtesy.
  8. Can you get me [grocery item] so my [family member] can pick it all up together? Seriously, should this even be an issue? Did you even really just ask me if I could go get your cheese for you?
  9. Can I drink on the medication? Ok, to be fair I think this is a fine question however, when answered please don't pop a pill and chase it with a rum and coke you happen to have in a big gulp cup. At least wait until you get into the parking lot, preferably at home.
  10. Can I borrow a Viagra? I'm all for lending out medications to people. However, generally we should stick to life or death medications. No matter what you think, unless you have pulmonary hypertension, Viagra isn't a life or death matter.

    I'm sure I'll modify this with more humorous questions at some point. I've been thinking of doing a list like this for a while and I thought I had more.

    Posted by vixen at January 29, 2003 04:29 PM


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