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July 10, 2001
It Pays to Be a Cynic
The Kaycee Scam: Short Version ; The Kaycee Scam: Long ; Charity on the Web
I read Debbie's ("kaycee's mom") journal a few months back when I was looking to redesign ID and checking out the competition (I even bookmarked it because it looked groovy. I was looking for layout and not content) and I read about kaycee's supposed bevy of illnesses and shook my head. I said to myself "this sounds like a scam", even though I didn't really know the depths of the scam (my god, someone had too much spare time). I even told a friend who mentioned kaycee in her blog that I thought the whole deal was scam (she got really mad at me and called me unfeeling and uncaring and a bunch of other things . . . :-p to you and I told you so {g} I hope I'm the one breaking the news to you too, bwhahahaha {g} JK :-). Am I unfeeling? No. Cynical? Yes. Bitchy? Perhaps. But, you know what? I was right! This just proves that every newbie I've doubted who said they were raped or beaten or abused deserved it. I've been proven right in my doubting at least 90% of the time. The other 10% is unproven, but I'm sure they weren't for real either.
Why do people feel like they have to make up fantastical stories to get people's attention? My co-bloggers and I chat quite a bit and we get a "kaycee" at least once a month. Are some of them for real? Maybe. However, as LadyX can attest to (she's even cared enough to look up one of them who was supposed to be in a coma), most of them are not. It's really a sad state when you have to make up illnesses. It makes people with actual problems less likely to get the help they need.
It's people like this that make people who actually do care feel stupid, used and leave them not wanting to care when someone actually does have a problem. Should we be cynical on the web? I would say yes and no. Don't doubt everything (if LadyX came to me tomorrow and said she was seriously ill, I would believe and trust her. I wouldn't need to call the hospitals in her state and ask if she was registered.) but doubt the obvious. Reading the account of "Kaycee", I can see several obvious red flags.
Do I blame people for caring? No. Love is what the world needs more of {sings what the world needs now is love sweet love then thwacks herself}. However, if you believe every sob story you hear online, you'd be torn apart inside. IMHO, you can't feel guilty for doubting someone's story. It happens too often online. Online is the place for writers and creative (if not psychotic) minds. Doubt is just a method for emotional survival. Cynicism is smart. Closing off your heart to all pain is another thing entirely. Most people who really have obstacles to overcome and hardships will understand doubt. Your doubt is the least of their problems. I find the ones who react the worst to doubt are those with something to hide (as in they are hiding the fact that they are lying out their arse).
It makes me sick to know that people use the emotions of kind and caring people, but it's a fact of life. I'm an empathic person however I pick and choose who to share my empathy with. This just reaffirms my belief that empathy should be carefully given.
Posted by vixen at July 10, 2001 06:13 PM
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Comments
Really? OMIGAWD! I feel so bad for you. Do you need money? Food? Jewels? Where do I send the check? Pleeeeeaaasssseeee let me help!
But... really, I'm nearly dead. I've been hit by a car. Internal bleeding. They've had to perform a lobotomy. Nobody has the right type blood, bone marrow, or kidney. Face it, I'm screwed.
And you don't care.