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June 24, 2001
The Birds and the Bees
Today was an interesting day. I awoke to "They're killing Lucky! They're killing Lucky! GET UP and help him!!" (Lucky is one of my dogs, btw). So I jumped out of bed and ran outside in my pjs (thinking some kid was trying to kill him) only to see both of my poor dogs being attacked by a swarm of yellow jackets (bees/wasps). I just got stung by them yesterday (I fell on their nest after a bird chased me off of a ladder away from her nest. The FUN!) so I guess my dogs had to top me. I ran outside (did I mention my pjs were a camisole top and shorts? Basically, I was naked) and tried to beat the bees off of them, getting stung several times myself while my mom was spraying me with a water hose (really, that was no help at all. I think she was trying to get the bees off but, let's face it, it was just pissing them off really and giving the neighborhood a wet t-shirt show). Finally I got them inside and called the emergency vet here.
The secretary of the clinic told me they would probably collapse and die if they weren't treated (ok, she didn't say that, but she told me that many dogs have allergic reactions to bees and do so it would be best if I brought them in...I was just going to ask if it would be ok to give them an anti-histamine, like I've seen vet's do at the shelter). I took them to the clinic (a clinic I've volunteered at so I knew the vet) and the vet told me that I should just give them Benadryl (an anti-histamine) unless they showed any signs of blocked airways or had trouble breathing or walking. For that wonderful advice, he charged me a $60 office call fee (couldn't he have told me that on the phone? And, seeing as though I worked for his scrawny, lazy ass for free, couldn't he give me a free office call? Oh wait a second, he told, "We normally charge two fees for two dogs, but I'll just charge you one since they had the same problem." What a saint! See children, good will and charity gets you no where. Just be greedy and demand pay for the work you do.
Well, at least they seem ok. the Benadryl knocked them out pretty good though. Lucky must have been the one to stir them up because they stung his face pretty good so now he was swollen eye and his nose is red. He looks pathetic. Moli looks ok, but they were all over her so I'm sure they stung her (she has longer hair than he, so they couldn't get to her as easily). They both got new toys and treats because they are sick so I think they will probably try to get stung again for more good food and toys.
Well, like you guys care about my dogs, but it's something to write about anyway. It was all my fault though. I made the bees mad yesterday and messed up their house so they are swarming now. I should have told my mom not to let them out. Stupid dogs.
Posted by vixen at 07:19 AM | Comments (0)
June 16, 2001
Woohoo!
I got a brand new set of Ginsu knives today that my dad bought at some weird tool show for a dollar. Oh joy and rapture! :D
Posted by ladyx at 12:43 AM | Comments (0)
June 14, 2001
Insomnia
Bah...Insomnia sucks. I got three hours of sleep from midnight until 3 am, and have been up since. I'm dead tired. Damnit...
Posted by ladyx at 12:45 AM | Comments (0)
June 12, 2001
Half.com - Don't shop there
I had a rant about half.com explaining why they suck and why, if you want used books, you should shop at amazon.com instead. However, my computer crashed and it wasn't saved. So, I'll just say: Half.com SUCKS. Don't shop there. Amazon.com merchants are much nicer and more reliable.
Maybe Half.com customer support will email me back my letter to them, which was basically my rant without the humor (my sad excuse for humor anyway). Damn, they piss me off. $10 down the drain...bloody bastards.
Posted by vixen at 07:20 AM | Comments (2)
The Walking Music Encyclopedia
I figured I'd follow in the keystrokes of my comrade and take a break from posting about that asshole, FlayvaFlay to complain about Bagism again. I'm sure you're all thrilled!
Remember that moron that vix mentioned briefly before in one of her parodies that thought the Beatles were more well-known and had more of an impact on life as we know it than Jesus Christ? Well, not only is he a dumbass, but he's getting his ass jumped on on the webboard again. I find the whole thing amusing (he's pissed off one too many people on that board), but a few things really stuck in my mind as the funniest I've *ever* seen before.
One of his supporters posted this:
"What the hell are you trying to DO? You coundn't argue yourself out of a wet paper bag and you're picking on (dillweed (name changed because 'dillweed' is more descriptive)), Master of Web Board Debate? Jesus H. Christ, that's funny."
"Master of Web Board Debate"...BWHAHAHAHAA!! That's the biggest line of bullshit I've *ever* read *g*. First of all, the guy worships the Beatles and Bob Dylan. I've seen pictures of him, and I swear he looks like he's trying to be the second Lennon or something. Same haircut, same glasses...he even has the words "John Lennon" etched on the inside frame. He also can't debate his way out of a paper bag. Only thing he does is try to cut down people, and then bullshit as much as he can, and he'll keep it going until he gets the last word. I've had my run-in with him (as has vix), and, when I proved to him that he was an idiot and that the Beatles did rip off from the Byrds, he had to shut up. I'm by no means a great debater, and the "Walking Music Encyclopedia" (as he so egotistically referred to himself) even went down. He also couldn't do shit against vix's opinions, and she argued him under the table with ease (anybody who would make that kind of a claim has some serious issues with hero worship...that and he really needs to get his head out of his ass; he's failing to see anything outside of the whole Beatles/Dylan circle).
Another thing that I found funny was when somebody called him a "retired old man". Know why that's so funny? Because he once referred to himself as an "old man trapped inside a young man's body" because of some *ahem* "complications" that he faced (I know, TMI, but at least I wasn't the one who witnessed this lame excuse first-hand). Hehehehe...he then posted that he's this really wonderful assistant manager at some half-assed music store in Canada, is an "artist," and is currently dating a 21 year old whom he spent the weekend with (21 year old what, I'd like to know. I'm betting a plant of some sort, or possibly a long-living bird). Bwahhahahaha...he's so sad, he actually felt the *need* to prove himself something wonderful to the guy who was ripping on him. Granted, the two main rippers didn't have much anything good to argue against him, but his replies were funnier than hell *g*.
And finally, the last thing that I found humorous was that he posted a little list of "guildelines" that everybody should follow if they didn't want him on their ass like he's some huge threat. Yeah fucking right *G*. Everybody's supposed to post around his beliefs just for the sake of keeping him from throwing out "you obviously don't know a THING about the Beatles because you don't know the exact number of times Paul took a piss during the 'Let It Be' sessions" lines (literally, he's that bad when it comes to somebody not getting some miscellaneous, random fact that even some of the most die-hard Beatle fans wouldn't know). His technique is quite astonishing, though. When you have a fact against him, he'll try his damndest to discredit it since it makes his arguement wrong. He can't stand being wrong; afterall, he *is* the "Walking Music Encyclopedia"...I wish I were as smert as he is. All of that musical training that I have and years of listening and studying it (the same amount of time spent as him, actually, unless he started after I did) are nothing compared to his music trivia prowess that his years of working in a music store have spurred. I'm by no means a great musician, nor am I a genius when it comes to music trivia or anything like that, but I'd like to think that the years I've spent studying that jazz (pun intended) has given me at least a tiny bit of credibility more than if I just stocked shelves with new releases.
With all this said, I feel it's time to bestow the honor of which this post was made. It gives me much pleasure to present Dingus (name changed because "dingus" was more descriptive)-the Bagism Master-Debater-with this, the Weenus of the Year award. Wear it proudly, my little Beatle-fiend.
This just made me think...Anal Weenus Arseface is the Bobby Flay of Bagism...egads, they're everywhere!
Posted by ladyx at 12:47 AM | Comments (1)
Continued . . .
Yay! The Walking Music Encyclopedia and I are in a fight again, woohoo! I'm proud. Somebody posted a bad review of the new Radiohead album and he's in a huff because he thinks the only reason why it was posted was to get to him. Bwahahahaha...he's fun *g*.
Posted by ladyx at 12:46 AM | Comments (0)
June 09, 2001
Pointless Post
I'm trying to think of something positive to write about seeing as how most of my posts of late have been intensely negative. Also, all the photos of Flava Flay ("Flava Flay" © LadyXanax) are really weighing the blog down, so it would be nice to have them lower on the page.
I have nothing to say so just take the time to make some positive thoughts of your own. Here's an idea. Get a piece of notebook paper out and write down 10 adjectives that describe yourself. [waits while you do that]. Ok, now that you've done that, read back over them and see how many are negative. More than 5? Well, good. You've realized that you are a loser and admitting you have a problem is the first step. How can you overcome? You can't. Just deal with it weenus. [editors note: I just realized I hadn't called the reading audience any names in quite a while, so I thought I should. Enjoy!]
Posted by vixen at 07:22 AM | Comments (1)
June 06, 2001
Bobby Flay: Bringing People Together for the common good
This Anti-Bobby Flay Society Net Ring Site
owned by Inside Delirium.
[Next|Skip Next|Next 5 Sites|Random Site|List Sites|Join ]
I know, get over it. It's a cooking show. This will be the last Flay hating entry. I just have to share :-)
Visit the Author of the first graphic, another intelligent person who hates Flay.
I've been using Flay as a curse word lately. For example "I don't give a flaying flay what in the flay you do." Kinda like Conan O'Brian's "Krunk" the all purpose swear word. Try it. It's fun!
If you think Flay isn't a real Chef too, please leave a comment! Who knows, you may end up in our Favorite blogs sections like 3bruces did. Not that that's a big deal, but at least we'll appreciate you!
More Bobby Flay Haters
Pure Sugar
Alien Thriftstore
Ferocious Things
Asian Bastard
We're organizing an Anti-Flay webring! If you want to join, just drop a comment!
Posted by vixen at 07:25 AM | Comments (29)
June 05, 2001
And the call rang out from across the lands: FILLET FLAY
As my fellow blogee(?) already pointed out, Bobby Flay won the Iron Chef battle. Before doing so, he insulted Japan once again by acting like and asshole and confirming their suspicions that American's are pompous, culture ignorant, self-centered morons. Way to go Bobby! I knew we could count on you to be a cultural ambassador.
All I can say is that I hope your restaurant goes out of business and that Morimoto's new restaurant in PA (To the one who lives in PA: You've got to check it out! :-) prospers because anyone can tell, even if he isn't the better of Chefs (and honestly, Bobby's dishes looked better to my American tastes) he is the better man. He has honor, respect and dignity. You on the other hand are a pompous dork who whines until he gets his way and uses corn like it's going out of style.
Posted by vixen at 07:30 AM | Comments (28)
What in the hell is wrong with people?
I'm sick of people in my family being so petty. I just want to smack them in the face, and tell them to grow up.
For some reason, it always tends to surprise my mom when I say I'm not Catholic. She doesn't quite grasp the fact that, when I say I'm not Catholic, it means I don't believe in the religion and therefore, shouldn't be going to the Catholic church. I've made this announcement more than once, and so has my older sister. In fact, my older sister and my older brother are the ones my mom blames for "ruining" me even though they had absolutely nothing to do with my disdain for Catholicism (if anything, it was the "you must go to church and feel guilty about everything even when you do nothing wrong" that put the bad taste in my mouth, but I digress).
Now, with that said, I also mentioned my sister as not being particularily fond of the Catholic religion as well. She's of a Christian belief, but she doesn't actually give it any particular denominational label except "I know what I believe in, and I don't need anybody to tell me how I should or shouldn't think." Yes, I applaud that because I'm the exact same way where nobody has the right to tell me how I should believe in anything, just as I have none in telling any other person. In regards to this, she also refuses to force any kind of religious structure on her children, but gives them the option to persue it (they're seven and under). This is where the problems only begin.
She recently had another baby (which makes four including her step daughter) which she does want to get baptized. She, however, doesn't want to have him baptized as a Catholic, but as a Lutheran because of her personal qualms with Catholicism. This fact alone has recently become cause for war in my mom's eyes.
My mom now refuses to go to my nephew's baptism and party tomorrow JUST BECAUSE he's being baptized Lutheran and not Catholic. She feels that my sister is blatantly slapping her in the face by doing this. She also is pissed off because she thinks my sister is "converting" her kids to the Lutheran faith. I love my mom and all, but god damn, GET OVER IT. She's willing to destroy her relationship with her own daughter and refuse to take part in the baptism of her baby nephew because of this. I honestly can't believe how she can be so petty. When she complained about it to my sister, my sister's only statement was "be happy I'm getting him baptized at all." It's shit like this that makes me infinitely glad that I don't participate in any of it. If being Catholic meant I had to act like an ass for something stupid, insignificant, and frankly not my decision, then I'm certainly glad I dropped the religion many many years ago. My sister even told me that I don't have to go to the baptism itself because she knows how I feel about Christianity, but she wants me at the party afterwards. I think that if even I can set aside my differences and support my sister and my nephew, my mom should easily be able to, as well.
Of course, this does make me think. If and when I decide I want to get married, I absolutely refuse to have it done in a Catholic church or under its guidelines. I assume this means my parents won't be coming to my wedding, either as they'll see it as me just "slapping (them) in the face." Excuse me, but six months of classes, aptitude tests, begging for permission, promising to subject my kids (if I were to have any) to Catholicism, and all of their other money-making rituals Added to that, my particular ill feelings towards it, as well as the fact that my boyfriend (if we were the ones to marry) is Agnostic (raised Episcopalian (sp?)) and I have a pretty good case against being married Catholic which doesn't even involve my parents. Oh well, at least Elvis at the Happy Elvis Chapel-O-Luvin' in Las Vegas isn't discriminatory. You can always count on Elvis to be there when nobody else will...uh-huhuh
Posted by ladyx at 12:56 AM | Comments (0)
June 03, 2001
Bah.
Bobby Flay can kiss my ass...fuckwit.
Posted by ladyx at 12:49 AM | Comments (39)
June 02, 2001
I Detect Masturbatory Overtones
An "interesting" question was posted on the Bagism letterbox web board which I frequent, pondering on whether or not many females partake in the infamous ritual of "double clicking their own mouse". Honestly, I can't believe that some of those people admitted, on a public forum such as that (a John Lennon website), that they did. At least now I know whose hands not to shake if I ever meet them in person.
I don't know which disgusts me the most: the fact that the question was asked, or the fact that some of these girls actually admit to it. Admittedly, I replied to the post giving my take on the whole thing (where I said I find it disgusting, and therefore, do not masturbate, and the only girl that has admitted to me that she has was my ex-roommate from this year since the question was "how many do"), of course, it all was preceeded by the ever useful "umm...eeewww". Afterwards, one jerkass took it upon himself to post under the topic that nobody admitted to it, but all claim to know somebody who does. Seeing how I was the only person who did say this, and this guy and I have a history (he wished I would die, bwahahahaha...I kicked his ass in an argument about it afterwards, too, and he's still sore, so he tried to pick the fight with me), I assumed he was referring to me. Of course, he was wrong since there were girls that had admitted it in the thread, but I digress. I posted a reply to him telling him that I'd be more than happy to give him my ex-roomie's livejournal address so he could read it for himself, and that not *everybody* in this world requires orgasms for survival. I'm assuming now he'll come up with the "ooh, you protested, you must be guilty" excuse, but I don't care--I just feel like fighting.
What is so hard to believe about somebody (be they male or female) not fiddling with their privates? Why is it that, if you say you don't, you're automatically branded as somebody who just won't admit it due to embarassment? Granted, there are people who do wax their gizmos and don't admit to it (I have more respect for those people who have shame than those who declare it on public forums), however, that doesn't mean that everybody who says "no" actually does, but denies it; either way, it's none of their business. Anybody who knows me would tell you that I'm really not a very sexual person. I'll tell pervy jokes with the rest of them, but that still doesn't mean that I'm the type of person who would preach the word of self-exploration, mirror-squatting, and groin-tickling. My roommate was. She used to tell me more things than I really cared to know about her, all for no reason whatsoever other than the fact that she was sore about not getting any. It just ain't my thing, and it certainly isn't something I'd share with anybody or bring up as part of a conversation.
All in all, if somebody wants to masturbate, that's fine with me, I just don't want to know. I won't hold it against them if I think they do because they're in the privacy of their own homes, and not trying to get me to join in, but if you admit to it, don't be surprised if, the next time you try to touch me, I run away screaming.
Posted by ladyx at 12:52 AM | Comments (2)
June 01, 2001
Allez Cuisine
es friends, a battle of WWF proportion will soon be underway on TV. Iron Chef Morimoto will battle Bobby Flay and, hopefully, kick his scrawny Yankee ass. What in the world am I talking about? If you want to know more, read on!
I know I'm the only one who constantly watches Food Network (from time to time I switch the Tech TV) but even for those who aren't food fans, Iron Chef is the show. It's funny, always interesting and the food looks great (even if I wouldn't eat it).
The concept of the show is a rich food connoisseur, Chairman Kaga, spent his millions to build a kitchen stadium and then scoured the world for the best chefs he could find (his Iron Chefs). Every week he teams them up against a challenger. He picks some mysterious ingredient as a "theme" and both Chefs get an hour to make food. The food is then judged and a winner is chosen. The show originally aired in Japan and in Japanese. It's been off the air there for some time. However, we get to see the occasional special and the poorly dubbed reruns here in the states.
So, what does the winner get? Basically nothing, but it's good fun.
What if the Iron Chef loses? Is he beaten with a cane by a hoard of angry men? Umm...no, but you seem a little to excited at that prospect. Calm down.
Is Kaga really a rich old guy who likes to eat? Yeah right. He's an actor. His name isn't even Kaga in real life (it's Katsuta Shigekatsu).
Is the show rigged? Probably, but who the heck cares? The WWF is rigged and it's popular. Leave the Iron Chefs alone.
Bobby Flay's show, Hot Off The Grill, on the other hand, is oftentimes boring and that bimbo he has on should be shot. Don't get me wrong, Flay is an ok guy, but he lacks the talent and luster the Iron Chef's have. FLAY IS GOING DOWN BABY...err...I'm not into this show at all...really. STOP staring at ME!
Ok, the real point of this entry is that my other main Food Network squeeze, Ming Tsai, feels the same way. This makes me like Ming even more than I did! Today, he had Iron Chef Morimoto on his show, East Meets West, and kept going on about Morimoto being his mentor and one of the best chefs he knows. Rock on Ming!
I've seen him diss Bobby Flay. Heck, Emeril Lagasse is often dissing Bobby Flay ("Don't let that Flay guy see me to this, he'll steal my fork a lemon trick"). When Emeril is dissing your cooking style, you know you're dong something wrong (I love Emeril too. He's just not really professional).
So, watch Food Network Sunday night for IC3 or else...or else you'll have no idea what I'm talking about and you'll just say, "hmm, I read some psycho food obsessed chick's blog today. My goodness, she was a freak!"
Posted by vixen at 07:33 AM | Comments (53)
David Blah!
Why is America obsessed with David Blaine? I admit, I think he’s cute (dumb as a post, but nice to look at) and I find his magic interesting. I’m also happy to have something to watch besides the election returns (THANK GOD) but is he really important enough to be shown on television every hour just because the idiot froze himself in some ice?
People call him a great magician and a "master like Houdini". Perhaps he is. I think not. During the last few days I’ve been exposed to a million interviews with him and not once have I seen him say anything remotely intelligent! He speaks as if the oxygen was deprived from his brain in his last stunt (you remember, he buried himself in a coffin). I’ve read a bit about Houdini and I think that he could at least tie his shoes and answer a simple question. I think maybe David is doing all these stunts, not because he’s good, but because he’s too stupid to do otherwise.|*||*|I guess it's money in his pocket (and this kind of rant is just what he wants, publicity. I’m all for giving cute guys what they want {wink wink}). Although, I think that if were David Blaine, I’d be scared to freeze the last brain cells I had left. Again, I’ll admit I watched the last special/stunt and thought, “that’s kinda cool”. Today, I don’t really care. I don’t want to see his stupid ice-sculpture of a body on television every morning; I don’t want to hear about his amazing talents. He’s no better than a used car salesman trying gimmick advertising. Nothing amazing there. The only amazing thing is that he's still alive (or at least he is as I am posting this, I just saw an update "Live" from wherever the hell he is).|*||*|I know I am looking forward to another street magic show with some “blaintly” obvious tricks (Some weren’t blatantly obvious, but some were. Even my dog could figure them out.) Sit down by the tv, get your remotes ready, the popcorn and the ice cold Coke (and hey, who needs an icemaker when you got a chunk of Blaine lying aroung)?
Posted by vixen at 06:53 AM | Comments (0)
You got Chocolate in My Peanut Butter! Oh yeah, well you got Jellyfish in my Monkey!
Did you hear what researchers did to a Reses monkey? No, not *that* (though, if any of the researchers I know are examples, they probably did *that* to the poor thing too). Recently, researcher implanted a gene of a jellyfish into a little monkey and he's still alive to squawk about it. Why, you ask? A wild kegger at the lab some scientist decided to get wacky? A practical joke on the marine biologist? None of the above. The scientist want to apply this to humans! I will be first in line when they start handing out iridescent jellyfish genes. Personally. I think glowing the dark and breathing underwater will be awesome. However, that's not where the research is going, darn!
What the scientist really want to do is mimic certain deadly human genetic diseases in monkeys because monkeys are easier and more "ethical" test subjects (I doubt anyone asked the monkey about this conclusion). Personally, I think they should round up The Monkees and test on them. It's not as if the are actually making any real contribution to society. They should have to pay society back for unleashing such terrors as "Valleri" and "Daydream Believer." Those poor little monkeys never tortured anyone like that! But I digress.
The real conundrum (don't you love that word) is that this technology is potentially dangerous and does pose an ethical question. Can you imagine what would happen if Saddam Hussein could genetically engineer an army of jellyfish-monkeys? He could take over the land and sea! I shudder at the thought. It would be even worse if he used squid! Imagine an army of monkeys who threw ink filled feces. The possibilities are endless. |*||*|What would happen if we kept inserting genes into a monkey and he became more man than monkey? Does he have to pay taxes? Does he have the right to vote? On the other hand, what harm could it be to have a monkey vote? Just have him move to Florida. He'll fit in just fine. Maybe he could even teach them a few things. We already have a monkey in the oval office! I say we should let them run for Congress too!|*||*|Seriously though, I don't understand why people in the states are so afraid to experiment with new technology. They always claim "moral and ethical issues." Do these morons think that the immoral and unethical people they are afraid of are going to cease their experiments because they don't have permission? Are the dictators of the world going to stop trying to clone humans just because the US says it's "unethical"? Nope. We might as well try to get some use out of it before the other countries in the world destroy us all. I hate the fact that since "evil can be done" with something, we shouldn't try to do anything good with it. Get off it. Evil can be done with anything. Heck, if we stopped everything potentially evil, immoral and unethical, none of us would be surfing the web right now.
Posted by vixen at 01:39 AM | Comments (0)
Spam, spam, spam, spamity, spam, spam, spam, spamity...
I am *so* bloody sick and tired of spam. Sadly (and I beg you good people to not hold this against me...I swear it's not my fault), I have to use AOL [hangs head in shame] when I'm at home here because of the shortage of local ISP's and access numbers, and I have been getting spammed like there's no tomorrow. I don't even fucking go in their damn chat rooms or anything, and I'm *still* being bogged down with spam constantly. Of course, the majority of it is spam about "hot young teen cum sluts" with a few "enlarge your penis NOW!"'s thrown in there for good measure (seeing how I don't actually have a penis, it gets a little annoying). I'm tired of getting spammed by people named AmberLovesYou118, TeresaNKayla7952, jenny_leigh8@yahoo.com, and porn69@excite.com (yes those are their real ID's in case anybody wants to mailbomb them for me. It'd be much appreciated :P). Stupid porn-mongering perv bastards. I don't care if somebody is actually into porn and wants to get these letters, but for the rest of us who don't, leave us the fuck alone.
Posted by ladyx at 12:54 AM | Comments (0)