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February 20, 2001
AOL Must Die
I hate AOLers (no offense to any of you surfing on AOL. I'm sure I would hate you too. However, since I don't know you, I don't want to judge.). I think anyone who signs up for AOL should immedietly be killed. "Dat wud B a gud weigh 2 kep dis kind a nu-b speek frm gettin' 2 me." AOLers are the scum of the web.
I guess not all AOLers are bad, but why does every net newbie in the United States sign up? I'll tell you why. It's easy. The net has been dumbed down to a moron level and people like that. People proudly flaunt their moroninity around the www like a badge. "Lookie here, I'm too dumb to use a real dial-up account so I'll brag about all the 'services' AOL has that nobody else has." I hate to break it to you buddy, but AOL doesn't have anything you can't find on the real Internet if you looked. Even their tech support admits it. A paraphrased conversation from the last time I used AOL:
"Hello, this [tech]. How can I help you today?"
"I'd like to cancel my account. There is no dialup number in my area."
"That' not a problem! We'll just send you a list of free isps and instructions on how to use AOL with those ISPs."
[plays dumb]"So AOL would be free then?"
"No, you'd have to pay a minimal fee"
"Oh. I thought free Internet was free?"
"It is, but you have to pay for AOL services."
"Do I need AOL services to surf the web?"
"No, but we offer many great things like secure shopping, AOL buddy lists, chat and community features!"
"So AOL IM won't work on a free ISP?"
"It will."
"Oh, so what you're saying is my credit card won't cover theft on a free ISP!"
"No, it will, but AOL offers more security. We pay 100% if your card is...."
"So does my Credit. Can't I use mIRC on a free ISP and chat?"
"Yes, you could. But AOL chats are better."
"Why?"
Silence.
"Every time I've been in one, it's just been 12 year old girls. I have interesting discussions on mIRC and there are lot of communities on the web with forums and all. I like those. Is AOL really better than all that?"
"So, what was your screen name. I'll put in the cancelation order."
It's sad when even the tech admits AOL has nothing to offer. I think AOL is harmful on a whole because newbies get set in their ways, never try to better themsevles and make themselves a contributing member of the web. They just content themselves with AOL chat and newbie speak and never look to anything else.
Oh well, long live the 'netidiot. I know "Y R U SEW MEEN VUXEN! EYE H8 U! U SUK!". Throw your modem in the toaster oven. I hear the AOL tech support staff says that will speed it up!
Posted by vixen at February 20, 2001 07:59 AM
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Comments
aol is a horrible company. i guess we all know why, so i won't get all heated about it. it's a discrace to the evolution of computers and computing.....i hate you AOL, and i am doing my best (w/o breaking a sweat or disrupting my life BTW)...to destroy you!!!!! one at a time...they will die.
AOL sucks!
I hate AOL