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November 29, 2000
Bard shocks world
Somewhere, someplace (AP)
In a stunning move, internet personality "bard" has decided not to write a rant today. Close sources indicate that "bard" has simply run out of ideas. When asked for comment, "bard" denied those rumors.
"No, I am not out of ideas," declared bard. "If I wanted to, I could rant about the whole political mess. Or about tofu. Or how I hate thanksgiving leftovers. But I won't. I am above that. I will not stoop to the low levels of Dan Rather."
Dan Rather could not be reached for comment, but rest assured, he is offended.
Sam Donaldson, however, stepped into defend his friend, saying "Dan Rather is a great anchor. This "bard" character has gone too far. He has no skills to speak of, and yet insults a person who has almost become an American Institution."
Bard then retorted, "Yeah, well. Shave your eyebrow, freak."
Sam Donaldson is now visiting a councellor. It is unclear when he will be mentally fit to resume his work. A crushing blow was delivered by Bard, indeed.
Stay tuned as this saga unfolds...
Posted by bard at November 29, 2000 09:38 PM
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